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This book made us think of some unpleasant things

Death is an unavoidable fact. It’s the great equalizer, a universal truth. Something no one doesn’t get to experience. The only things that seems different for each of us is the how of death. People speak of someone having a “good death”. But modern death demands preparations. Funerals and memorial services. What readings and music you want at your funeral. Make sure you have advanced directives and a living will. Don’t leave these things to chance. The author showed us in the book how you can think you’re doing everything you can, and still feel guilt. Because she shows the reader how hard it can be to have everything and nothing really planned. It’s hard to talk about what type of funeral service you want (or if you want one at all). It’s hard to decide who gets the china and who gets the sterling. Who gets the photos and who gets the bankbooks. Everyone knows plans need to be made, but it’s so hard to actually sit down and have this conversation. It seems to imply a loss of control. That’s one thing the author made very clear, both for the author and her parents. Making decisions meant someone had to give up some control over the situation. But the author does readers a great service here. She is so truthful, and looks so directly at what she needs to do for her parents, and admits she’d afraid of failure. Will the decisions she makes regarding their care be the right ones? How does she divide her time so that her own family still feels cared for? How to pay for everything? Everyone has different fears and anxieties, and the author makes this ok. It’s ok to work and be anxious. But she also tells us that memories make a lot of this process easier to tolerate. I think this is what she wants readers to remember.

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